Ryan and I entered into this marriage thing with a plan. A baby plan. Finish school before we even go there (At LEAST I have to finish...we'd prefer that he finish too). Period. We won't waver from this plan (intentionally, at least). Some people see that as selfish. I (and I know our immediate family will agree) think it's smart. I KNOW that if I go get preggo right now, finishing school will be even more of a challenge and I just can't risk not finishing...or even putting it off, it's taken this long, I WILL finish next year.
So anyway, disagree if you will, that's our plan. It's what works for us.
BUT...I'm starting to wish it were time NOW. I've wanted to be a mom ever since I was a little girl. Growing up, I would daydream about it. As I got older, I would think "in about 10 years"..."in about 5 years"...and now, I'm thinking "in about 1 year". It's SO close, but like everything good, it seems so far away.
So you see, I've always wanted it. But recently, something's changed. I want it more than I've ever wanted it. I can hardly wait. I don't know why, but I just feel such a strong desire to be a mother.
At the same time, I'm scared silly. I'm scared of how it might affect my relationship with Ryan. I don't think it would hurt the relationship at all. But I know that things would change. A few weeks ago we spent the day together and had the best time. It was one of those can't-stop-laughing kind of days. I remember thinking "what a perfect day". My next thought: "will we have this much fun when we have kids or will we be so tired and distracted by them that this will be a rarity?"
I would never NOT have kids just because I'm having too much fun with Ryan (I think THAT might be selfish of me), but I think it's a valid fear to have. Things will change, I just hope they're changing for the better.
Anyway, what's the point of this blog? I don't know...I guess these are the thoughts that have been going through my mind lately and sometimes you gotta record that stuff, ya know? If for no other reason than to look back in 10 years and have a good laugh.
11 comments:
You are so funny. Josh and I are pretty much on the same page with this one...no kids til after school and we have a new house. We want to have enough money saved so that if we ever get into a bad financial situation, our kids will be okay. It's a big step!
FINISH school!!! I love my boys but Noah did come a little too early, and wish I could have finished!
And you and Ryan are fun so I am sure you will still have fun with kids!! They are great....and I know you guys will make GREAT parents Iknow Noah loves you guys and LOVES to look at his snake pictures!!! Enjoy the two of you while it lasts....I know I don't have to tell you that!!
p.s. I over use punctuation...sorry=(
I say you should go for it! I'm sure you will be able to finish school and if it's meant to happen now then it will, I mean what if it takes you a while to get preggers... and you wait until graduation to start trying and then you don't get pregnant until Christmas or the next year? :-)
Whatever way you go we support you! ;-)
Ha Ha Ha. I can relate to you somewhat. Being pregnant and new parents can really wear you out but you also enter into a new part of your relationship-the part where you get to share your love with another. THe way you look at each other changes and you love each other in a whole new light. It's a great thing but defanetely not worth rushing into. A big part of it all is communication. When you have a baby and they depend on you for everything you are able to do less of what you used to for your spouse but if you try to keep communication open and find other ways it works great. I keep wondering if it's time for #2 yet but I'm terrified at the same time. Being parents is great though but super tiring at times. You can also get pregnant before you graduate and have the kid a few months after graduation...that way your kept busy for the first part. Who knows...I wish we were closer so you could play with Bri more except sometimes she probably makes the yearning worse.
I just want to give you a big hug!
Babies are great but here are 3 things I would recommend
1. finish school
2. sleep in as much as you possibly can
3. go on lots of dates
a. That's one of the least selfish things I think you could do!
b. I say Whatever works for you, do it. To each their own. There's no cookie cutter life plan!
c. I know that feeling, wanting a baby so bad... one day you'll say that's enough and hop on the bandwagon.
But finish school if that's what you always wanted! I know, I graduated with my BA when I was like 4 months prego. :)
FINISH SCHOOL!!! I have seen that a lot up here...soon as a BYU coed gets pregnant, she doesn't come back. You guys will be hysterical with a baby. I can't wait; all my friends have babies and I love it, but they are also done with school. You can do it!
Well, I was already done with school when we got married, but we had a "plan" to wait about 5 years and spend time together and get situated financially before we had kids.....3 months later Heavenly Father decided it was time for us to start our family (If it's meant to happen, it doesn't matter WHAT you do...trust me, it will happen!!).
Yeah, you do miss the late nights out together giggling and just enjoying being together, but I wouldn't change it for the world =) Having kids brings you to a new level and while it's tough at first, it's usually a change for the better. But if you can, you're better off at least to wait until you're done with school...just one less thing to worry about!!
Besides, with kids you have a new excuse to color on the kids menus at restaurants and do lots of things you haven't done since you were little!!
hey, We said we would wait, but we have our little boy. I dont think there is anything more important than raising children to tell you the truth it is hard working 60 + hours a week and trying to go to school and having a family of three. But I have never felt more Joy. And yes we struggle but I know for a fact that having a child at this time is right for Jennet and I. Jennet told me she felt a overwhelming desire for kids and we prayed and knew it was what we were supposed to do. Of course it is your decision and only you can interpret that feeling. Good luck
Go For it babies are so cute!!!
That another reason for me (luke)
can come see you guys!!
It would be so fun!
P.S. by the way this is Luke :D
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