I had another appointment with the doctor yesterday. I'm still only 1cm, but I'm 70% effaced and my bag of water is bulging. She scraped my membranes to try to help my progress along. She definitely doesn't expect me to go past my due date with this baby so I'm really happy about that.
I re-read the birth books we have and the notebook from our childbirth class and as I finished it I threw it on the bed and told Ryan: "I've read everything I can read, I've taken the classes, we have almost everything we need, I think we're READY"...as ready as we can be anyway.
I've been watching the new reality show "One Born Every Minute" on Lifetime. It's like a much more raw "Baby Story" and I love it. I pretty much cry during every episode when they pull the baby out and put it on the mom's chest (even though I've always thought that was gross). I'm just so anxious for it to be my turn and to have our little Brady to cuddle with and love on.
Right now my biggest decision left to make is epidural or no epidural. I REALLY want to do this naturally with no Pitocin and no epidural. I have read A LOT about the different types of medical intervention and I'd LIKE to keep things natural and just let my body do what it instinctively knows how to do. However I've never really experienced much pain in my life and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. Originally I was pretty set on not getting one, but after watching some natural birth videos I wonder if I'm strong enough. I see how much pain these women are in and think: I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT... and the epidural labors seem so much more quiet and calm.
The funny thing is, while I was set on not getting the epidural, Ryan was questioning why I wouldn't. He couldn't understand why I would opt to feel the pain when I didn't have to. But after watching the videos, he changed his mind and decided it would be better to have a natural birth. He noticed that the naturally laboring moms seemed to have the more euphoric reaction to the baby, due to the natural release of Oxytocin. So, really, the videos just confused us more. It made me go from definitely not wanting one to SERIOUSLY considering it. And it made Ryan go from wanting me to have one to NOT wanting me to have one (though he ABSOLUTELY supports me in whichever decision I make). So basically I'm just going in with an open mind. I'm going to see if I can do it naturally. I'm going to try really hard because I DO feel that it is best. However, I'm not going to allow myself to feel like a failure if I decide to take the drugs.
10 comments:
An open mind is the best way to go. I wasn't sure but with all the complications I was having my Dr recommended it.
I did read an article the other day where Labor and Delivery wards are bringing back laughing gas in lieu to help take the edge off the pain of those trying to do it natural. That definitely sparked my interest.
You'll do just fine. I'm so excited for you!
Good luck!! And I'm excited for you. You'll have to update us all on what you decide and how your labor/delivery turns out. I'm with you- I would prefer an all-natural, epidural free experience (ideally) but, you're right, NO FEELING LIKE A FAILURE FOR TAKING DRUGS. I think that is so stupid. Especially when you don't really know what to expect. The epidural has been the best choice for a lot of women. I guess with our first we just try our best and learn from our choices! Just be calm and enjoy having your baby. :)
I figured I was going in with an open mind with my first too, but every time I had a contraction I held me breath. Under those circumstances, I would have been in labor for a really long time. You can't progress if you hold your breath through contractions. Finally Dan looked at me and said that I either had to breathe through the contractions or get an epidural. I opted for the epidural.
The second time I didn't even bat an eye. The epidural went so smoothly with the first that I just had them do it. I even slept through part of my labor in the hospital because of it.
The third time I had to be induced, but I didn't want pitocin. I always go quickly after the doctor breaks my water so she told me we would start with that and after a certain amount of time if she didn't see progress that she liked she would start the pitocin. We progressed and I didn't need it. I figured I would get an epidural like I did with the other two, but I was trying to wait until I was in a lot of pain. I didn't know how it would go with an induction and I didn't want to be stuck in my bed for hours on end because I got the epidural too early and was numb and couldn't walk around. I had learned some breathing techniques and Dan and I had practiced them so things were going pretty well. I asked the nurse how far I was (dilated to a 7 and completely effaced) and told her I would probably like the epidural. Well, the anesthesiologist was in doing a C-section and I had to wait. She gave me some fetonal (which I will never do again) and it didn't really take the pain away, it just made me loopy and the room was spinning. I started to hold my breath with pain again and then the staff switched. The old nurse didn't tell the new nurse that I wanted an epidural and we had to wait for another c-section by the time we talked about it. I wasn't making much progress at that point because I was holding my breath and I was in so much pain. We obviously need to practice the level 3 and 4 breathing if we ever do this again. The anesthesiologist finally came in and I dilated from a 7 to 10 in about 5 minutes. I was holding a baby boy about 20 minutes after the epidural was in.
Looking back I wonder if I really could have done it without the epidural, but I have to be more prepared with breathing and really practice it beforehand.
Sorry for such a long comment, but I just wanted you to know that you really can't know until you experience it. My sister can handle a lot more pain than I can and she says no epidural is the way to go. While I agree that there is something to be said about actually feeling the pain, I don't feel like I missed out on the birthing experience just because I had the drugs. I also appreciated have the epidural while they were stitching up the episiotomy (even though I felt most of it with the first and had barely gone most of the way numb with the third). You can also request to have a slower drip to not go quite as numb. I felt the sensation to push with all three and was really able to take part in it, although I felt a lot more tired after the third because the epidural barely had time to just help me relax a little.
Anyway, congratulations and good luck!
Okay, you knew I'd have to comment. :) You can absolutely totally do it. If you choose to, but if you change your mind it's not like it's a bad thing. I am also not exactly a pain handling person--my dad even [helpfully--gee thanks!] said that to me before Morgan was born. When I spoke to him after Eleanora's birth he said he'd never think of me as a wimp again. VICTORY! Hehe. Anyway, yes it's crazy crazy intense. A lot depends on hospital policy, honestly. I'm not sure I'd be able to have a natural birth in a hospital without fighting for a lot. For example, if you're strapped to monitors and can't move, I seriously cannot imagine getting through contractions. They will move from crazy intense to very painful if so, I'd imagine. My biggest reason for not wanting one is to avoid further intervention. An epidural often slows labor, so then you might need pitocin, so then the baby is more stressed...etc. But if you can get the epidural as late as possible, you'll be better off. If you do have a natural birth, move as much as you can--it'll help it go faster. Go with low noises, as high pitched stuff tenses you up. But also don't stress out. If an epidural sounds like a better option, do it. :) All will be well either way.
I haven't read the other comments because it always taints my thoughts and I want to be clear with you:
You should have thought about this 9 months ago.
I don't say this to scare you, but I say this because I don't think women realize that giving birth is not about "pain tolerance" or "getting through it" --giving birth and laboring is a natural process that was given to us from God and our bodies (for the most part --there will ALWAYS be exceptions) are meant to have babies.
Hospital intervention has caused more damage and killed more babies/mothers than home births have since the 1950's. My friend can't give birth anymore because of a botched epidural --that happened only 5 years ago.
You know how I feel about all of this. For our 6th child, I'm planning on giving birth at home. I've already given birth 4 times unmedicated, and I will never go back.
But what I said about thinking about this 9 months ago --you should have been preparing for it long before now. Hypnobirthing is the BEST and I highly recommend it. Learning how to work WITH your body and not AGAINST it is how most people can do unmedicated childbirth with confidence. The women who tend to have the worst experiences with unmedicated childbirth are the ones who did NOTHING to prepare. Yeah, our bodies are meant to give birth without drugs (I'll have to tell you sometime about how the contractions send signals to our brains to release endorphins which then signals the uterus to continue with contractions and how epidurals completely inhibit this natural ability), but we can't do it cold turkey without thinking about it beforehand.
That's why I'm sounding rude right now. It's not that you CAN'T do it, it's that you SHOULD have prepared for it. But since that's in the past, I'm gonna tell you that if you want to do this unmedicated you need these things:
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1. A husband willing to work his butt off to make it happen for you without judging you or making you feel bad about your decisions.
2. A doctor/midwife/labor nurse who will support you and not try to pressure you into "just getting the epidural." Without a supportive medical team, you might as well give birth at home. I'm serious. When a woman is in the throws of labor, the LAST thing she needs to deal with is crappy people telling her to change her mind. It's manipulative and cruel.
3. The ability to relax during pain. To focus and breathe and work with your body. My sister always tenses up when she contracts, and so epidurals have always helped her give birth faster. Does that mean she could have learned how to relax during contractions in advance? YES. Absolutely, YES. Do I judge her for not? No. It's her choice. But you have to understand that fighting against your bodies' natural ability to give birth helps nothing and hinders everything.
4. Have the decision made BEFORE you go into labor. Open mindedness is all fine and dandy, but really? It's a cop-out. "Oh, darn. This is uncomfortable. Good thing I have an open mind and I can take all these drugs!" Decide now. Prepare now --3 weeks of preparation is still better than none.
5. Don't get induced if you can help it. I'm SERIOUS. You can deliver babies unmedicated with pitocin, but it's slightly hellish and not necessary. Late babies are NOT WRONG! It's okay to be late!! This is your baby --not a car purchase or something.
6. Do not allow anyone in the room who will doubt your ability to do this unmedicated. Don't labor in the BED! Holy crap! Get up and move around! Labor in a chair, in the bathtub, walking around the halls. Don't sit on the bed for 20 hours! Not only will it stall your labor, but it can increase the chances of you getting an epidural.
7. Focus inward. Read Hypnobirthing (the Mongan Method is good).
Giving birth is the best natural high there is for a woman. It's incredible, and the end result is a miracle. Women don't think they are missing out when they get epidurals, but as a woman who has done it both ways, I have to tell you, they are wrong. Giving unmedicated birth is amazing and totally worth it.
P.S. If you end up getting the epidural, don't stress it. I know I make it sound like it's evil, but I also understand the need --there are always exceptions. I just hate it when women make uneducated decisions about something women have been doing since Eve! No matter what happens, you will get a beautiful baby boy. That's all that matters, in the end, really.
P.P.S. Episiotomies are of the devil. If you have a good doctor/midwife, you won't need one. Tearing heals WAY faster and is less invasive. Ask your doctor/midwife if they do routine episiotomies. If they do, RUN AWAY! Or just demand that they don't do one on you. ;)
Yay you are almost there! Any day now! Honestly I could handle the contraction, but my water never broke and from what my two good friends said was that they could handle them too but when their water broke IT WAS PAINFUL! My Mom went so fast there was no time for an epidural, but she literally had us within ten minutes!
I got the epidural when I was dilated to an 8, just so I could get a little rest before it was go time! I really enjoyed it. I could still move my legs and felt great! And I was very comfortable and just watch the contractions go by. After Eli was born and I went to my rest room I was already able to move around and by the time I was in my room I was walking around just fine!
My deciding factor on the epidural was that I just wanted to enjoy the delivery... which I did and Jon did. we were laughing and smiling through it all! It was a great experience!
I agree with Cheryl, being on bed rest in the hospital I really got to ask a lot of questions and I was told to not have an episiotomy bc ur body will heal back better and you wont have a lot of scar tissue... and for you next delivery if you do get cut then you could possible split more... sorry that sounded so strange!
everyone is different and you will know what your body needs! I am so excited for you both. We love you!
You'll do fine...I planned with the first to go in there and go as long as I could without any pain meds...and if I reached the point that it was too much it was calming to know that I had that option. I obviously ended up not needing that because the first was breech/tarnsverse and she was a C-section, as was #2 and soon to be #3. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable. Remember, every woman has a different opinion and a different experience with birth. What works for one mom won't work for another. Yes our bodies are equipped to handle birth, but with the marvels of modern medicine there are ways to do it without so much stress and pain if you choose it. Just never let someone make you feel like less of a woman for whatever decision you make. I get women who tell me all the time that I must feel like I missed out, or that I must feel like less of a woman because I have never experienced labor and a regular delivery. I've learned to ignore it and just respond with the fact that I feel blessed to live in a time of such modern marvels, because without them my daughter and I would have died during childbirth back in the days. Because of all these medical advances I can safely have the experience of pregnancy and children without ever fearing for my safety or my babies!!
Stay strong!!! Good luck and before you know it you'll be holding your little guy in your arms and it will all seem like a distant memory!!
Hey Big Mama:
Alot of what Cheryl said I do agree with although it is a little harsh. When I had My first three Lovely children, I wanted to give them the best start no drugs, the birth process is also hard on them so slowing it down, I didn't feel was a great idea; Yes transition is hard; As will anything in life we alway find strength to meet our chalenges... some of my greatest trials were overcome because I had some little person counting on me to get thru it... Back to my fourth and final pregancy he turned breach at the last moment and I mean as I was in the hospital in checked into the room! So my choice was a C-section or a very difficult delivery... I choice C-section and had an epidural and getting a shot in your spine isn't a pleasant experence! The one thing that I will never forget is I was too drug to even care about looking at my new baby boy!!! Even though it was only suppose to effect the lower half of my body???
But really you have to do what is best for you,wait,wait did I say you oh no it's not about you it's about what is best for baby...didn't anyone tell you baby comes first now!!!
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